Kelli's Perspective...
“Hey-lp!” is probably Waverly’s favorite thing to say. She
heard it on an episode of Doc McStuffins. I think she asks for “hey-lp” just
because she likes saying the word in that way. I, on the other hand, have cried
“hey-lp!!” in my heart and I don’t say it for kicks.
This Africa stuff is hard. It may seem glamorous to go to
Africa, and maybe it is when you visit, but when you have to survive and not just survive, but thrive, all that is admired about Africa
is no more. Don’t get me wrong my spirit is at peace here because I know this
is where the Lord wants us, but being in His will doesn’t mean it’s easy.
(As if I needed further proof of His calling on our life to
be in Madagascar, the Malagasy root “kely” makes something little or small. For
example, the word “manakely” means “to make something smaller”. Morgan, I
figured you’d appreciate this the most.)
We’ve been gone just two weeks now and when I think of being
here for four years before we head back to the States, my head spins and I may
get a little nauseous. In just two weeks, I have taught myself to think only of
the present time. Kind of like putting Matthew 6:34 into practice, not as a
spiritual exercise necessarily, but as a practice of survival.
That’s my word: survive (survival, survived!, etc). That’s
what we are doing: surviving and at
the end of the day, we clap ourselves on the back because we survived! Extra claps on the back for
the extra tough days. And we wake up each morning renewed and ready to face the
day. That part, “the waking up renewed” part, is God’s grace because on the
extra tough days, the carnal, human part of me would rather run away. But He restores my soul (Psalm 23:3a).
There have been more than a few times in the short time
we’ve been here that my heart has cried out in pure anguish. I don’t feel
“home”, I miss family so much it hurts, I miss the ease of my life back in the
States, and sometimes, I just plain, don’t want to be here. Period. And in
those times, my heart just aches and I can’t express in words what I want to
say to Him, but I know He knows because He
restores my soul every.single.day.
He gives me moments of joy throughout each day; like, when
we greet a Malagasy in Malagasy instead of French like they may expect, and
that person smiles at us, it lifts my spirit. And He gives me small victories;
like cooking my first meal from scratch (spaghetti with apple crisp for
dessert) and Chandler tells me that the spaghetti sauce was really good, then I
feel like “I can do this”. And He gives me hope; like when we successfully
complete an outing to the market, I realize that as I learn language, all outings will become easier.
All of this is going to take time. I know that. I know that
there will be days that start out positive and we are blindsided by some sort
of complication. But I also know that as time passes, we will learn how to take
those complications as they come. We will learn this culture and language and
my prayer is that these people will become our
people. And that we will no longer survive
each day but thrive where He has
planted us.
There is a certain excitement and
anticipation whenever you start out on a adventure into the great unknown. With the anticipation and excitement comes an
idealistic and distorted view of the world you are walking into. That distorted view and idealism came as soon
as we landed on the island: the people, the street-markets, the landscape, the
world was all new and exciting and I could not wait to get this new life
started.
That
idealism ended approximately 6 hours later when we closed our hotel room door
and realized we were absolutely on our own, knowing none of the language to
communicate and having no idea where we were in a city of millions. As I laid in bed (awake from the jet-lag) I
wondered to myself, “What have I gotten us into?”
As the days
have passed this question has continued to come up; however, the Lord has been
good and faithful to answer it again and again.
“What have I gotten us into?” is answered through a great trip to the
market, the smiles of the pousse-pousse drivers on our street, and the
friendships made with Malagasy. In
short, I have led us where God has called us and this is a great comfort. While this is a comfort to our spirits it
does not necessarily make living life here any easier.
Needless to
say life is different now. There are so
many new challenges, so many new experiences, and a new normal to find but, I am
confident that we will find that new normal and that we can and will thrive
here. It is going to take complete
reliance on the Lord for everything. So
far I have only been able to realize this fact, not make it an everyday
reality.
Not only do
I have to rely on Him for provision and peace but also I have to rely on Him to
give us a heart and love for this place.
We have known we were called to Madagascar for some time and
specifically to the Antandroy people; however, really appreciating their
culture and world is going to take some time and some serious love. As I have been working through 1 Corinthians I
have seen how truly essential love is.
It is “a still more excellent way”
(1 Corinthians 12:31) as referred to by Paul.
This excellent way will not come from my best efforts. This way can only come through the gifting of
the Holy Spirit. I cannot achieve it on
my own but through supplication and prayer.
I am so
excited to finally be here making a new way for our family. We have experienced great highs and a few
lows in our short time here so far. We
know that there are more to be experienced and much lies ahead; however, we
rest (with anticipation) in the fact that the God who has called us here is
aware of us and will grant us all things needed to make His name known!
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